It's electrifying.

Here I am, lying on my bed. Listening to music and to my head, which I shouldn't though. Less thinking, more volume. Everyone's starting to move on, couple thinking, except me. Am I better being single? Maybe. But, everyone's much better knowing that someone loves you. I guess I just need that. But not just "that", I need him, sadly. I used to be strong, but he instantly, in some ways, becomes my weakness. I'm so good at sharing and giving my little secrets, so they can survive the funk, and I can't even handle my own story. I just know I deserve this, it's just bad timing. I'm sure. And I'm sure he loves me as much as I love him. And that I cross his mind through the day, and that he misses me. And at the same time, the fact that I don't actually know anything, is killing me. My tradition of making wishes when a balloon floats in the sky, came on practice today, and I knew exactly what I'd say, and, suddenly, everything was ok for a moment.

So Far Away

Maybe it was a start. Everything's going well, and it looks like every boy I used to share feelings with, decided to talk to me all at he same time. It doesn't feel bad, It's just too much for me. There was something missing. It was him. I'm desperate to show him how I've changed and demonstrate him that I was totally over our history, except, the fear of having a possibility that I wouldn't have the chance. Should I be afraid? It's the only thing that I needed to send free. Time heals almost everything, and this is part of the "everything", I want to finally let go, and I could, I don't think I am going to see him anytime soon.