Emociones acumuladas en botellas.

It seems that music is the only thing that understands. I'm stuck here, blinds down, pure darkness. Just like my inside. Today I arrived home crying, hoping that at least my dad would understand. I guess I just want to hear what I want to hear. I know it's not right... I know. But it just feels so good to be understood the way you want to be. I have spoken to a few people, and none of them know anything. I'm sick and tired of hanging around people that have fucking everything in their lives, that lose something and can replace it right away. I'm sick and tired of being out and being hungry, and just watch everyone order their shit, eating their shit, and me, eating the bread crumbs or the food they don't like, literally. If there actually is a God out there, why do bad things happen and you don't get any hep? A friend of mine told me this one day. I really didn't pay that much attention until now. I guess everyone's life is hard, but, I just know, some people's life is worst than others. I know everybody has problems, everyone. 

Maybe for a rich chick teenager that has everything she wants, her problem is not getting the T-shirt she always wanted, and I totally understand. Because that's her problem, that's her reality. Now, I'm totally ok with that, so that's why when someone is having a rough time with something, I won't tell them: "Well yeah, just remember there's people dying in Africa because they can't eat anything." Ok, yes, I totally know that, but, does that actually make you feel better? Does that change your reality? Well, no, it fucking doesn't. I will never say that to anyone, I would just get into that person, and try every single thing to make them feel better, I wouldn't go anywhere until that person shows a smile on the face. What I'm trying to say is, basically that I would like that to happen to me. I feel so stressed and weak lately, full of anxiety and things that worry my brains out. I'm a bad person. I'm jealous of everyone that has everything I don't have. Sometimes, I can't feel happy for someone, I just feel jealousy. That is a bad thing, a really, really bad thing. You know, I wish I could change who I am, everything. Me, my looks, the way I see life, the way I think, almost everything. I don't want to see anybody, I don't want to hang out with anybody, I don't want to get out of my house. I feel so bad, I feel like I'm bad person. I feel like I'm bad at everything I do, say... Can someone save me? Please. There's got to be someone out there who knows what it's like to feel so empty and suicidal. Yes, suicidal. I would never thought that I would think like this in my whole entire life. When I'm at the limit. I just don't want to continue anymore, I want to disappear form the map. I know that no one reads this fucking blog, but if I can't be understood by someone else, being understood by myself is kind of comforting.

It's Motopony, my computer and me, I'm all alone, and i'ts sad.